Category Archives for "Poems/Short Pieces"

Love, Toxicity, and Letting Go: Short piece

If you love something truly and you think you truly do love it you need to understand and learn that love because to be able to have that love to exist. It needs to be genuine and it’s better to have rather than not been loved at all. As the same goes, I suppose but I believe that love if you love something you need to understand why you love something enough in order to let go because if you love something too much, you could cause toxicity within the love and you cannot toxicity and love because that is a disaster and they’re all civil toxicity love it just makes sense to me that you love something so much that it causes pain. You need to understand it and learn about it and understand how to let go. It’s easy to say learn live, and let go, but it’s not easy to do but sometimes level of toxicity just makes it impossible, and you wanna let go, but you can’t because that love was so genuine and deep. Sometimes you don’t even know what it was and you lost and then you become apathetic empathetic and you just feel numb numb…so sometimes you just have to let things go

The Mental Health Blog #3: Fear & Anxiety

Here is the third blog on my mental health, where I shall update you on how I have been feeling emotionally and mentally. This is a fairly short article, but today I want to talk about fear-driven anxiety. Anxiety really spurs from the fear of something, for example potentially a large social gathering, because one may develop Social Anxiety. That’s what happens to me. Fear and Anxiety almost rule my life despite how hard I am fighting. Sometimes I am too anxious to get out of bed because I’m fearful of what the day may hold or bring, or I am fearful of waking up feeling the same way everyday; depressed. I am sometimes just too anxious to function. But I have to realize that it is really simply fear, and the only way to conquer that fear is to fight it. If you do not battle your demons, you will not win. The battle may be slow. Mine has been and still is. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and I believe that one day the anxiety will fade.

The Mental Health Blog #2: Losing Someone You Love & Grief

Here we go, the second blog. So, lately I have been struggling with loneliness and have been missing my deceased loved ones a lot. I have dealt with many losses in my life. I grew up without a Grandfather, only Grandmother’s. However, sadly, both my Grandmother’s passed away, as did my Uncle Gary. I lost a friend due to a chronic health condition, as well as two other friends; I am going to disclose how they passed for their family and for privacy purchases. My puppy was stolen back in Tampa, and recently, my two cats passed away. I had those cats for about 18 years. I got them when I was 7. They were my best friends and truly were emotional support animals for me when I look back at it. They weren’t stereotypical cats; they played fetch and went outside. It broke my heart so badly when they passed away. Unfortunately, I had dealt with grief and loss before. First comes the incredible depth of sadness and the waves of tears. Then comes the anger where you are just furious at the world for taking away someone or something that you love. Then comes grief and the mourning process, where we, or I at least, am constantly yet sadly reflecting on all the happy memories with my all loved ones, and how proud of me they might be of me, hoping that they are. I pray for them and pray to them asking for strength and I focus on all the good times I’d had with them. Now for me, that’s how loss works. But we must focus on the fact that they may be lost but are not gone, because they will always be with us. We must think of the good times and smile, because it’s what they would want. They would wish that we would have a good life and a happy one. So in my opinion, we must live our lives how they are; as we must not dwell in sorrow or in the past. We need to focus on the future and always keep our loved ones in the back of our heads and as long as you do that; you will never forget them. Our loved ones will give us the strength to keep moving forward and to keep bettering ourselves, and it is also up to us to make them proud. To all my lost loved ones, I love and miss you, and will see you again soon.

The Mental Health Blog #1: Self-Consciousness and Comparison’s

First and foremost let me explain what these blogs will consist of; although it is pretty obvious due to the title. I will be creating weekly to monthly blogs updating readers on my mental health and how it has been affecting me lately, as well as advice to others. Today’s first one is about Comparison; being too self-conscious and comparing yourself to others. Being self-conscious is very. hard in itself. I constantly compare myself to others lives, often to people who graduated college and have kids or are married/engaged and have all these business type jobs. I get down on myself because I think, “Why can’t I be like that?.” But at the end of the day when I analyze myself, although I’m different I realize now it’s good to be different, because being different can make us special. We are different, not less, and sometimes different begins to intrigue or almost intimidate people. Being different is special because we (people with mental illness) have different mindsets; and we can help recognize problems within others whom may seem “normal,” so that we can help them. Never compare yourself to anyone else, because we are all on our own paths and journey’s in life. Plus if you’re judgmental of others, you’re just an asshole. We are all perfect as ourselves and all are beautiful inside and out as God mad us because we are all human. So different or not, we are not less. In a certain sense, we are MORE.

National Mental Health Day

October 10th, is National Mental Health Day. Here is a piece of advice coming from someone who struggles with mental illness and struggled with addiction. To all of those whom may be suffering, just know that you are not alone, and that its okay to not be okay. It’s okay to cry, because we are all human, but you need to let emotions out. Compartmentalizing mental health or trauma only makes it tougher, so getting emotions out is key because it can take things off your chest and lessen the intrinsic pain. In a sense, talking about issues to friends, or professionals, can really help and is a relief because some Doctors can relate and know how to help. To anyone reading this or seeing this; Know that things do get better, you just gotta keep keeping on. Lastly, don’t get down about yourself because you’re a human being and that in itself makes you beautiful.

If you need help, I suggest you speak with a clinician, therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I also suggest a blood test to determine mental health conditions so you know which medicine to take. If things are really bad; you can call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. OR you can talk to me, I’m here for everyone within the mental health world.

God Bless

– Tommy Roel

“Depression Fucking Sucks, Doesn’t It?: The Confessions and Addictions of a Walking Disaster,” is Finally completed and Available to Buy

“Depression fucking Sucks, Doesn’t It ? : The Confessions and Addictions of a Walking Disaster” is edited, copyrighted, finished, and published! It’s about 100 pages, and is ready to buy in various ways. It is now available on Amazon.com for $10.99 (Just type “Depression fucking sucks Tommy Roel” under the book section and it will pop up on Amazon. I also am selling books in person, and can mail them as well. I can email the book in a Microsoft Word document or print the pages via my printer and can sell simple paper copies at a discount. Payment methods include Credit or Debit Card or a gift card if using Amazon; otherwise If I ship a copy or distribute them on my own in person; in person purchases are $10 without taxes or shipping, and payment methods include: Cash, Check, Venmo, CashApp, Zelle, Apple Pay, PayPal, & Google Wallet/Google Pay. Thank you to everyone who helped me along the way, especially my Father and Susan C. I hope my book can be enjoyed and can also help people who may struggle with mental illness like I do. I hope that anyone who may read it, thank you!

Author: Tommy Roel

Edited by: Ronald Roel

Testimonial: Susan C. New York

Cover: Susan C. New York

My Book is Finished: Sneak Peak: Anxiety & Depression Vs. Stress & Sadness

The book is finally finished and available to purchase. Here is a sneak peak.

I finally finished my autobiographical memoir on my journey with mental health. I’m working on figuring how to publish it, so here is a sneak peak of part of it :

Anxiety versus Stress and Depression versus Sadness

First off, this is a sensitive topic, but it needs to be touched on. Depression, or Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) is a mental health condition chemical imbalance in your brain where your brain doesn’t produce Serotonin, which is an essential chemical that helps stimulate the ability to feel happy or content. The medication that MDD is treated with Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors, which allows your brain to gain more serotonin. Now Major Depressive Disorder; this is a chemical and biological mental health disorder, whereas sadness, is not. When someone says, “I’m so depressed,” they really are just having a rough period of time or may be overwhelmed with sadness. That sadness will linger and eventually become a faint memory. Actual depression is when you experience long bouts of deep sadness and may feel worthless or like there is no point in living. Depression makes you feel alone, out of place, and makes it hard to even get out of bed. It makes it hard to do almost anything, even simple activities of daily living. It makes it hard to sleep at night because the sad thoughts relentlessly linger in your mind. Being depressed means you may have no confidence in oneself and lack confidence. I, for one, experience all of these things. So, when someone who has no mental illness says they’re “depressed,” it really just beans they’ve been having or are having bouts of heavy momentary sadness. The difference is Major Depressive Disorder doesn’t go away, and can affect you more long term. Honestly, it’s a little frustrating because people throw the word “depressed” around way too lightly.

The same goes for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. When someone says, “Oh my god I’m getting anxiety about this test,”; it really just means they’re temporarily and highly stressed out. Stress will eventually calm down. With GAD, you experience overwhelming anxiety about nothing for no reason all the damn time. Everything scares you, because anxiety is rooted from fear. Sometimes I’m scared to get out of bed or leave my house or go to an activity. Sometimes I get insane social anxiety in crowds, and I don’t like crowded places either. Anxiety is more like consistent, heavy, and intense long-term stress that doesn’t go away. The term “anxiety,” is thrown around too lightly, and in the mental health world, one may become offended by such, even though no harm was intended. So, for yourself and others it’s important to carefully and mindfully use the terms “anxiety” and “depression” less lightly. It would mean a lot to those whom suffer from these conditions. So, Depression is heavier and longer than sadness essentially, and anxiety is non-stop intense stress. There’s a difference dude!

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It Is Mental Health Awareness Month

It is Mental Health Awareness Month, as many know, So I wanted to post something before the month was over.

This is called “Being Human,” written by Tommy Roel (myself).

This piece is dedicated to reminding everyone that they matter and that your existence as a human being makes you inherently beautiful and IMPORTANT no matter what anybody says or think. We are all human beings. It’s time we learn to love our imperfections as well.

Being Human

If you don’t like who I am then that’s all-good cause that’s your opinion, But i will absolutely never ever even fuckin think about changing myself for someone like you, because the best anyone can ever fuckin be, is themselves. No matter what you’ve always got you. Fuck what other dickheads think man. Never change yourself because no matter what you are, you’re a human being, just like everyone else, you’re yourself. And that’s all right 

And after all you know, there’s one like you, you’re one of a kind and nobody else out there’s exactly like you, they may have the same name or eye color or skin tone but they will never be exactly you. That’s fucking important, so be the greatest you that you ever could be because there will never ever be anyone else like you again. But also remember that whatever you end up being, you’re going to be an alright one. Because just like me and everyone else. You’re human. you’re you. And that’s alright. 

Lunatic

Lunatic

People say I’m crazy, that I’m nuts. And you know what? They’re right. I’m crazy, I’m nuts, I’m a god damn fuckin lunatic. And i wouldn’t rather it be any other way. I would never want to be anything other than what i am because that would make me normal. And fuck that. 

Perfection is a scheme, because perfection robs you of your ability to improve yourself. If you’re perfect there’s no room to get better. And I’m always trying to improve myself.

Time moves as we perceive it.

You don’t need to be book smart to understand human nature. All you need is a good heart and an odd curiosity that causes you to obtain a desire to better the world around you. That’s what will help. you understand things. That curiosity will help you understand life. 

Kurt Cobain once said “They laugh at me because I’m different. I laugh at them because they are all the same.”