Category Archives for "Mental Health / Motivation"

What is Love? – My Belief of What Love is

Here we go again, another fairly different post from the regular Maxin’ Out N Blackin’ Out Posts, this one also relating to mental health and our souls, as I would like to explain to others what I believe love is, and how we can use love to better the world and the lives of people around us. Regular Maxin’ Out N Blackin’ Out Posts will resume soon enough, however I would like to share this post as I believe it will help people figure out my belief of what love truly is, and hopefully individuals can relate. Here we go again.

“What Is Love?”

What’s Love? What exactly is it? We tell each other we love each other all the time. People fall in love, they engage in relationships in which they profess such love to each other. But this love, the love I have, is different than falling in love. This love, is a word in which we use to simply tell others that we care. Being in love with somebody is different than the love for caring for others. Love, see, love is being there for the people you care about when they most need it. Love is waking back up at three or four AM just to make sure your person whom you care about is okay. Love is doing anything for others no matter what it does to you. Love is making people feel happier, reminding them of their incredible personalities, features, and other aptitudes and characteristics. Love is making people you care about smile and laugh. Love is surprising someone with something by showing them how much you care through wonderful actions. Regular love is the simplistic way of showing other human beings how much we care about them. People say you cannot love somebody else if you do not love yourself, and I can say from first-hand experience, that that is simply not true. Because I love all for whom I care about. So much, that I have so little love left inside of me to love myself. I give and give and give all of my love away to ensure the happiness of others for whom I care about, and I do so, so often that I simply run out of the love inside of me as I have given it away to so many others. And they deserve such love, because everybody deserves to be happy. And I want to be the one to deliver such smiles and happiness. Though I may self-destruct from the absence of self-love, I will remain as strong as I can, because I view myself as a sacrificial human being, dedicating my life to helping others and making sure that they feel loved. It is extremely difficult to live with on a constant basis as not being able to love yourself is an extreme difficulty. However, when it is all said and done and the sun is set, I will be content knowing that I have helped others become happy, and ultimately, I have prevented some sadness in this dark, challenging world. The world is dark, and I am just trying to bring some light back into the lives of people who need it. That, to me, is what love is.

• Tommy Roel
• Maxin’ Out n Blackin’ Out

Battling with Loneliness: “What It Feels Like To Be Lonely” 

Although this website is primarily for providing informative information about lifting and balancing your lifestyle appropriately, it is also about my passion in lifting and about the struggles that I have battled along the way, and I would like to offer advice to people who struggle daily with mental health issues as I am diagnosed with an MTFHR Enzyme disorder and anxiety disorder, which I have opened up about in the past. Today, I am going to present a piece I have written titled, “What It Feels Like to Be Lonely,” which addresses loneliness and depression. This piece I have written is rather different from other content on this website, however, this website embodies not only my Maxin’ out n’ Blackin out mentality, but also offers life advice because my overall goal in this journey is to help spread fitness and happiness. Now this piece is sort of dark, but it explains how being lonely feels, and I wrote this so people who do not understand loneliness can, and towards the end I explain why we must fight our loneliness. This is kinda dark, but here we go.

“What It Feels Like To Be Lonely”

Being lonely is different than from what you think. Its a mental thing. It’s not just being alone physically, not simply the physical absence of company causing you to yearn to surround yourself with individuals just because you want to socialize. You yearn to surround yourself with people around you so that the presence of others can distract you from loneliness. Loneliness, see, it is a constant and consistent feeling, the fear, the sadness, the desperation of wanting something, but yet you do not know what it is. You are lonely and empty, and the loneliness actually causes the emptiness, forcing you to try and find something, anything, to fill up that emptiness. You are alone. Mentally, even if you physically aren’t. Like mentioned before, You fill yourself in rooms full of people, familiar and friendly faces, momentarily filling up the deep darkness and emptiness inside of you. And for a brief moment, you are content. But in an instance your being content with the situation changes and the loneliness comes back, and the momentary happiness slips away into thin air. It is a vicious cycle. We strive to fill our loneliness. But we don’t know how to fill it, or what to fill it with. We try to find passions, careers, relationships. Or we use external methods of escape such as facing the bottle or taking that pill. But the artificial happiness created by external factors such as love and other drugs soon and suddenly evaporate. We find or search for pointless careers in which we try to find a purpose within such careers hoping we find our calling, or purpose. Some lucky ones find such purpose, but us, the lonely, cannot. Soon such loneliness will return to haunt us. The empty space within us will always fill up with momentary and artificial happiness before we are drained and stripped of such happiness or empathy, leaving us just as empty as we were before. But despite our faults, our loneliness, we smile through the pain, through the despair, the emptiness, and through the loneliness. We don’t know how to solve it, but we are trying to. There is no scientific cure for loneliness as I believe that loneliness correlates with our souls, not simply our genetic makeup regarding cognitive function. Loneliness is a matter of the soul, a soul who feels empty and alone, yet through the pain, we know we must persevere. So we smile, we are lonely, but we smile because that is exactly what we need to do. We cannot let our loneliness engulf us, we cannot let our sadness bury us. We cannot hide it, but what we can do, is fight it. Smile, day by day, fight by fight, battle with loneliness, and eventually one lone-full night, the loneliness will evaporate because we have won the fight. You cannot give up, be brave and be bright. Loneliness sucks, but we must persevere and not let it take our lives. Smile, because someday everything will be alright.

• Tommy Roel

Monday Motivation – Getting Through Difficulties

This post is more-so related to life rather than balancing lifting and partying, as I want to delve into a personal experience I have been through that keeps me going, and keeps me motivated. School has always been a stressor for me as I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder which makes it even more difficult to deal with school. I’ve always been able to put in the work, but sometimes it’s hard, and I know a lot of students can relate because lets face it, who wants to sit in a boring elective class wasting their time away listening to crap they don’t care about? No one, everybody hates class that isn’t revolved around their major, and its incredibly not motivating having to do something you hate. However, whenever I find myself in that slump, I remind myself of my bigger goals and what I want to achieve. You have to deal with bullshit to become the shit, so don’t give up no matter how hard you hate classwork or whatever other endeavor is bothering you. Push through because that’s all you can do. I’ve wanted to give up so many times because I felt as if I was wasting my time in class while I could be out in the real world chasing my dreams, despite how successful or unsuccessful I might be. However, don’t throw away your education to chase your dreams because you can do both at once. It’s extremely difficult to handle, to understand, and to deal with. But if you really care about your dream in life, you should never let something little stop you. The squat is the perfect analogy or life. When something heavy pulls you down, you grind, grind, and grind again, and then you stand up. Don’t let yourself ever lose your motivation and make that dream into a reality.

• Tommy Roel
• Maxin Out N Blackin’ Out

Pride Cometh Before the Fall, but Pride is What Makes us Rise to to Get it All

Everybody knows the quote “the pride cometh before the fall,” however, I have a very different insight on this quote. Pride is being proud of every piece of who you are and being unashamed of your being. It is what drives you through your passion and shows off as gloating but is it is gloating for self success because one should be proud of what one does, and even if they slip or fall and their passion suffers, their pride should fuel them to continue towards their goal and should give them the energy they need to rise from their fall and continue to be proud and be themselves. This second 405 video is my 4o5 fail and fall, but my pride and passion kept me using and I stood back up and hit 405 finally, which is the second video.

• Tommy Roel
• Maxin’ Out

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCa6TjNDz-Z/?taken-by=roel_powerlifting

https://www.instagram.com/p/8yZuanDz_v/?taken-by=roel_powerlifting

Train Towards Your Goals, but Also Train Towards Happiness

Obviously, if you are a powerlifter, weightlifter,strongman, bodybuilder, or any professional or collegiate athlete, I would presume you would be running a workout program specified for your sport that is geared and designed towards achieving success in your sport and improvement in certain areas of that sport. Programming, practices, routines, and splits are crucial because they help us achieve our goals and get gains in the most efficient fashion and is probably the most educated way an individual can train. Plus it helps structure discipline and helps individuals develop a routine and strong mindset and improves focus once discipline is understood. However, sometimes, from personal experience, I have found myself so stressed out (I do have Anxiety Disorder, though) about certain programs because I would miss a rep or be unable to complete the rep work whether it be hypertrophy and assistance work or compound movement rep work. I developed a fear is disappointment within myself and workouts began to stress me out. However, when your own passion begins to become a stressor, one must take a step back and not abandon that passion, but fight back and figure out what has been stressing you out within your passion. Then you find a way to beat that part of what has been stressing you out and holding you back. You can work towards other goals momentarily until you regain focus, or simply walk in the gym and train whatever you want just to enjoy yourself, because we all started lifting because we loved it, right? So whenever I feel stressed, a relaxed bodybuilding-styled workout to get a pump on always relaxes me because it reminds of of the initial fitness that inspired me to travel towards greater levels and depths within fitness. Sometimes you just need to say, ‘screw all that other stuff,’ and lift how you want so you can enjoy yourself and your workout. – Me almost (I missed, Cool Pic though,) dunking on 9.5 feet when my hops were at their best. Probably can jam it on 9 feet at the moment and 8.5 is a piece of cake. I used to play basketball in high school, I’m 5’7″ and wasn’t too skilled, but I had decent hops due to my leg strength from powerlifting, and I often use basketball as an escape route for enjoyment and additional cardio while I am stressed out.

• Tommy Roel
• Maxin’ Out n Blackin’ Out

Perseverance Through It All; Never Give Up

Throughout my life, I have had several incidents that have brought me down. That includes personal problems such as my issues with anxiety disorder and my enzyme disorder leading to depression in addition to excruciating pain that I experienced after my Uncle surprisingly passed away. I experienced personal mistakes in the past that I have decided to not mention, and have also made mistakes in school as my grades have been dropping periodically on and off, and of course, I have been hurt by past relationships with women, though I do not hold any negativity against them as it is my pain to deal with. My gains have suffered throughout difficult times which probably is the most painful things I have dealt with because other world aspects have taken ahold of me and stripped me of improving myself within my passion of lifting. Sometimes, life just happens, and there are periods of time where simply, life blows. However, despite how horrible it may seem at times, whether you suffer from personal issues or you feel a lack of motivation in the gym and your gains have fallen off, do NOT give up. NEVER give up. Because giving up means you’ve thrown in the towel and that there is no sweat blood or tears left to give. Giving up is throwing away your passion, and without a passion, what’s the point of pursuing anything, or more so, what’s the point of living? Never give in. Many people are familiar with the Mark Wahlberg film “Lone Survivor,” which is based on a true story of Navy seal Marcus Luttrell. After falling down that ravine in the movie, Wahlberg was able to walk. However, in real life, once attempting to escape from the outnumbering Taliban, Luttrell was able to find cover, he was actually unable to walk due to his many broken bones from the fall; essentially, he was paralyzed. However, instead of giving up, Luttrell crawled SEVEN miles to find shelter and water. HE would draw a line in the dirt and crawl to it, draw another line and so on and so forth until he crawled SEVEN miles. Whenever I feel like giving up, I think of my Uncles, whom I’ve written about in past articles, and they motivate me. However, secondly I think of this hero, Marcus Luttrell, the Lone Survivor. He crawled seven miles. That to me, is the definition of perseverance. To me, each space needed to be crawled until the next like represents a difficulty in my life, and I must keep crawling and working until I persevere and pass that difficulty until it is onto the next difficulty to crawl past. My Uncles, Marcus Luttrell, and many others have influenced me to continue forward throughout all the hidden internal pain  I have been suffering. No matter what happens, one must always persevere and continue chasing your dreams. As Rocky Balboa said, ” It ain’t about how hard you get hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.”

Fight through it all and never give up on what you believe in.

• Tommy Roel
• Maxin’ Out n Blackin’ Out
• Linked is Marcus Luttrell’s Speech about Operation Redwing at Alabama.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU4mwbeaqds

Be Yourself No Matter What and Screw What People Say

This article I am about to delve into is relatable to lifting, but it is primarily to provide my insight and advice on helping you find happiness both inside and outside the gym. Happiness begins with self-acceptance and a self understanding. People must realize that they are born with what they have; you are what you are. Yes, there are always strives for self improvement as individuals such as myself endlessly pursue education and gains in order to improve our physique, strength, and cognitive abilities. However, there are certain features of our bodies, and certain aspects of our brain that we are born with that we cannot change. For example, for the last few years I have been struggling with anxiety disorder and an enzyme deficiency in my brain of MTFRH, which breaks down folic acid, which allows our brains to uptake serotonin and dopamine, the two primary chemicals that make us emotionally balanced and happy. These caused me to experience widespread and heavy depression for a long time until i found the right meds. The point is, what kept me going through the entire struggle was the fact that I knew there was nothing truly wrong with me because I was simply born this way and that I could not change it. Since I was born that way, the only way to find that happiness is to accept yourself for who you are and for what you are. Self-acceptance is the key to happiness, because once you accept yourself for who you truly are, you can move on with your life and become the best version of yourself that you possibly can. Additionally, if you do not want to, do not try to fit in with others or join social groups just because it seems like the cool thing to do, or because it seems like you’ll be respected or have something to gain from being in the group. Because FUCK that. Trying to change who you are for others is pointless, because if they can’t accept you and like you for whom you truly are, then they don’t deserve your time or presence. Be yourself no matter what. Don’t let others influence your goals or dreams or decisions, don’t try to be something you’re not. If people don’t like you for you, then straight up, they can go fuck themselves. Be you and only you, and do your own thing. In my experience so far in life, throughout all of the phases of depression, I have found that being myself and understanding that I must accept myself for who I am is the best way to find happiness. Sure, I wish I could change some things about myself, but I simply can’t. Rather than fret over what you can’t change, work hard to change what you can, such as your gains in the gym. Otherwise, be yourself no matter what and understand that whoever and whatever you are, you are a human being and are just as equal as anyone else on this planet. You are you, and you are amazing because just like me, you are a human, and no matter what kind of human you are, as long as you are yourself no matter what, you are ok.

” Don’t Let em say you ain’t beautiful, they can all get fucked just stay true to you,” – Eminem

• Tommy Roel
• Maxin’ Out’ n Blackin’ Out

The Gym Is more than Just a Place to Train

The gym, no matter which gym I attend out of the various gyms I go to or have been to, i get the same relief and same feeling every time I walk in. Thats because to me, the gym is more than just a place to workout. Its more than a place to train for powerlifting. Obviously I work as hard as I physically can in the gym to get the best gains I can, however, attending the gym to improve my gains is not the only reason I go. The gym for me, is an atmosphere where I can relax. Every workout, despite the difficulty, provides a physical and mental relief and release for me, especially after a stressful day often times filled with Anxiety. It relieves my stress and is a medicine for me whenever I go through difficult times. Not only that, it is physically healthy for me as it helps me stay in the best shape I can.  Additionally, it is a place where I get to meet many gym friends whom I have bonded with over the years and can shoot the shit with throughout periods of rest in-between sets. We get to know each other better, exchange lifting advice, and talk about many other things in life. I get to know some individuals so well that some gym friends end up becoming some of my best friends. It is a place where I can chase my passion and get my gains while I relieve stress and anxiety whilst meeting some of my best friends as well. The gym represents an entire chunk of my life and means so much more than fitness to me. It means health, fitness, friendship, knowledge, and is even a second home to me. Don’t Just go to the gym to lift, go to the gym to find many other of the benefits that a great gym can provide.

• Tommy Roel
• Maxin’ Out
• By the way, the featured image as a header is Me back in about 2014 when I met Kai Greene at Bev’s Francis Powerhouse Gym in Syosset, NY.

Siege Athletic’s Wall – Civilize the Mind But Make Savage The Body

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJL1BT6Dhur/?taken-by=roel_powerlifting

“Civilize the Mind, But Make Savage The Body”

• This quote encourages the idea I have behind Maxin Out n Blackin Out because it supports the concept that one must be civil and eager to learn and obtain education and being responsible while simultaneously making “savage” through your body through endless training and lifting by Maxin’ Out and also through partying by Blackin’ Out. Balance the Two.

This painting is located is former Optimum Nutrition Rep Noah Segel’s Gym.

• Maxin Out N Blackin Out